Demons, Imps, and Devils
These works examine my inner psyche, my experience with bipolar disorder, and how the unstable nature of my mental state leads to instability in my personal, social, and sexual life. I’ve adopted a cartoonish, over-sexed, and pop-cultural representation of the devil as a sort of alter-ego and physical manifestation of my neurosis. I somewhat intentionally make these ‘devil’ characters flamboyant and crude, partially as a reflection of my own personality, but also because I believe that humor is an incredibly useful tool when talking about subjects such as sex, trauma, and mental illness.
The imagery and personality of these ‘devils’ is heavily influenced by the media I grew up with, in which villains and monsters tended to be heavily queer-coded. This was especially true with representations of demons or the devil, who would often be flamboyant, sexually promiscuous, and vaguely bisexual. As a closeted gay tween who already felt like a monster, I was immediately drawn to these characters. Although I have largely outgrown this phase of my life, it is the origin of my ‘sympathy for the devil’, and continues to inform my work.
Now I use these ‘devil’ characters as a stand-in for myself and a physical representation of my chaotic mental state. It often feels like I have no control over my mind. It’s hard to rationalize that the version of me that wastes away in bed full of self–hatred is the same person that can work for three days without sleep and fully believes he’s some sort of sex god. There are simply too many conflicting emotions present at the same time. It’s as if there are hundreds of little demonic freaks screaming inside my head, each with their own opinions and motivations, leaving me to follow whatever voice is loudest at the moment. By giving them a physical form, I provide these mental ‘devils’ with agency and permission to exist in tandem with each other.